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Cruise Jokes


Here are a few cruise jokes.



The Island

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."




Funny doctor

Maria was going on an ocean cruise, and she tells her doctor that she’s worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him, "Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock." Maria says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?" The doctor says, "No, but it’ll look real pretty in the water."




Top dumb questions not to ask
  • Do these steps go up or down?
  • What do you do with the beautiful ice carvings after they melt?
  • Which elevator do I take to get to the front of the ship?
  • Does the crew sleep on the ship?
  • Is this island completely surrounded by water?
  • Does the ship make its own electricity?
  • Is it salt water in the toilets?
  • What elevation are we at?
  • There's a photographer on board who takes photos and displays them the next day... the question asked..."If the pictures aren't marked, how will I know which ones are mine?"
  • What time is the Midnight Buffet being served?
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