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Road Sign
Stories

Road Sign Emergence


Traffic Story 1
I was riding my bicycle	when I saw a woman lying down.	We fooled around	until she was ready.
People said our relationship sparked.	We played soccer on the beach.	Then we took a taxi.	First she opened one leg,
then the other.	I put it in.	She complimented me on my size	and weight,
after a lot of coming and going.	We tried different styles	and speeds.	When I reached the point of no return,
she shout STOP!	She said the wasn't on the pill.	My excitement died.	9 month later she phoned
from the hospital.	I was a father.	My world collapsed	and I turned upside down.
I now walk.


Traffic Story 2
One night, I was walking on the streets.	I met a girl with big boobs	and my heart rate went up.	She got me head over heels.
I took her to see the night view	and did it in the car.	I reach for the condom	and she said, she had pills.
She splits her right leg	and she splits both legs.	I got excited,	look for the hole,
went strait in.	She asked me to slowdown.	I said not too loud.	We changed possion.
We stop for a while	and starts again.	I finally went soft.	She's satisfide about my size
and quantity.	She screamed: I forgot my pill!	I felt so down.	Nine monts later, from the hospital
she called me.	She had a baby looks just like me.	I work hard to feed the family.	I pawn my car and
bikes around.	Wishing I was dead.


Traffic Story 3
empty One day, he was walking.	empty He saw a woman sleeping.	empty He felt desire	empty his adrenaline
empty He took the plunge.	empty He invited her to a coffee,	empty then to the restaurant.	empty They went on a trip.
story309 They did different activities.	empty He took her to his house.	empty She told him,	empty and she laid down on the bed.
empty She spread one leg,	empty then the other,	empty then both.	empty He reaction was immediate.
empty He penetrated her.	empty He went in and out,	empty he discovered that	story321 He suggested
empty She refuses,	empty bit she asked him to go faster.	story325 She made comments	empty When she saw all
empty she shouted STOP!	empty She hadn't told him the truth:	empty She wasn't on the pill.	empty But he lost his self-control
empty and reached the	empty She called him 9 month later	empty from the hospital.	empty He had 2 children!
empty His world crumbled,	empty he want to die.	empty The morale:	empty For not making
empty wear protection.

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Traffic Story 4
No mindless conversations	Minimum erection before entry	Is that the exit?	Squeeze into a space
Start breaking	Destroy all evidence of affair before	Curry night	Test of nerve
Loose wheelnuts	Car with hardest looking blokes	Out of control born-again	Road rage attack imminent
The President has a problem	No heavy metal clichés	DJ at work	Chance of winning lottery
Wrong time of month	Beatles crossing	Latrine full	Stag night ahead
Night before: Sweet Filly…	… morning after: Fat Cow!	Drink less lager	1 min end of toreplay
Student crossing	Feeling horny	No limp dick	Seagulis in area
One night stand	Diarrhoea	It's not you	A good screwing
Blood alcohol level	Disco	Lost	Kinky
Minimum dick length	No golden showers	Food scare ahead	No politicians
Wear a condom	Hello boys	Oh fk!*	Beware skid marks
Job centre	Slow men at work	Inadequate baggage checks	Large muff ahead
No rear entry	Get a life	Frankenpenis	Caution horny old ladies
Parking available	Gorgeous girls only


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 1
Bigfoot Ahead	TV temporarily out of order	Beware: quick drying cement	Chance of Survival
Magician at Work	Alien Abduction	Danger! Giant Ranger	Avoid oncoming gunfire
Lumberjacks working ahead


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 2
BSE Infected area	Eye test ahead	Did you take precautions, last night?	Motorcycle stunt team overhead
Daddy, can I have a bicycle?	Oncoming war stories in centre	Caution: Railway infrastructure	Caution: Wrath of God
Jesus Ahead	Beware of freefall Mary Poppins


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 3
Your car is on fire	Oh dear	Red cars keep right	Donald Trump
Flatulence ahead	Umbrella required	Flying motorbikes	Political party manifesto
Mid-life crises	Slippery slope	Dad dancing	Lovely lady humps


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 4
Change down a gear - this is gonna be fun!	Set cruise control to speed limit +10%	Top gear filming ahead	Elderly driver speed limit 40mph
Elderly driver speed limit 30mph	Elderly driver speed limit 27mph	Beware abandoned stancers	No right turn. Unless you really
Carmageddon	0-60mph testing zone	Doriftoooooo!	Keep your foot in until the the barrier's
NOS	Parking permitted with hazard lights	Chicane! Max speed 70mph


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 5
No vehicles can survive beyond	Do not open eyes fully	Keep out of sunlight	Ambient temperature (number
Edge of ice sheet ahead	Poor visibility	Very poor visibility	You may not be able to go back
Building on left may collapse	Building on right may collapse	Radiation likely, no stopping	Total surveilance area
Travelling hospice bus	Vehicles liable to explode	Keep in the shade	Adults ahead
Mutant giants in this area	Raise protective unbrella	Euthanasia point	Euthanasia suspended

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Road Sign Alternative Meanings 6
Beware BMW drivers	Beatles Museum ahead	Ken Block filming in progress	No bommerangs allowed
Michael Bay filming in progress	Winter is coming	Carpool lane	Beware: Skinny jeans zone
Place your bets…	Potholes ahead	Conga lines ahead	Check Instagram
30 year old free zone	Beware dangerous Ford drivers	Beware man with heavy umbrella	Thomas the Dank Engine
Drifting zone	Stop! Hammer time	No Peugeots	Beware Stag do's ahead
Road is loading Please wait…	Moove out of the way	Good luck getting to work on time	Cool stunt ramp ahead
Tinder zone


Road Sign Alternative Meanings 7
Motorcycle display team	Swings both ways	Low flying aircraft	Give way to white van man
Shaven haven	Flee the giant octopus	Twitching net curtains ahead	Dangerous gasses
Fat bloke ahead	Mad cow	Wave goodbye to your license	Roadside cafe
Danger! Alan Tichmarsh	*Fck this!**	Dodgy pills	No sad gits
Not sorry at all	No entry. Work in progress	Wrong neighbourhood	Get in middle lane
Last chance to overtake	Exit now	Reverse down hard shoulder	Choose a direction
No old gits	Student crossing	Slow moving target	Use full beam headlights
50 bonus points	100 bonus points	Ultimate roadkill	Off the road, grandad!
Silicon implants	Motorvational	Does my bum look big in this?	Triple vodka please
You are too close to the guitarist	Asteroids	Red light district ahead	Same old bull
One leg open	Both legs open	Tunnel ahead	Wear a condom next time
Loading zone	Genetic meddling	Totally lost	You're stuck here forever


Road Sign Nepal Slogans
On roundabouts, give way to cattle approaching from the right.	Make three orbits around Bhadrakali to find exit to new bypass that cuts through Army HQ to Maiti Ghar.	Caught using mobile while driving? Pay baksheesh not exceeding this amount to officer on duty.	Drive slow, avoid turnover.
Hard Rock Cafe 100m ahead.	Warning: Garbage being thrown from fourth-floor balcony.	Next time take a plane to Chitwan.	Falling into Tukucha allowed only betweeen 10:30AM-03:30PM and on public holidays. Drive slow, avoid turnover.
In the event of a water-landing, swim calmy and call the Nepal Coast Guard.	Look for outrider accompanying Prime Minister Tobgay's motorcade and race him.	Bank robbery in progress. Medium-built gentleman and short female perpetrator running towards getaway car. Give way.	Cross street here during Shark's Summit. Cross anywhere you like when it's over.
Garbage heap ahead, turn down window.	Do Not Disturb. We're still digging.	Generally, we drive on left. But generals can drive on either side.	Drive zigzag to avoid potholes.
Road recently repaved for SAARC (South Asian Association for Regional Cooperation). Drive like a maniac if you like.	No urinating here 8AM-4PM on weekdays.	No blowing your own trumpet, but you can honk all you like.	Traffic light is just a suggestion. Ignore.
Abandoned bra on road. Call police.	Scientific Fact: Pillion riders don't need helmets because they are more hard-headed.	Warning: Merging Communist Parties ahead.	Sign at airport parking lot.
Transfer to submarine for rest of jouney to Boudha.	Make three revolutions at Singha Darbar.	Feral Ass on the loose. Approach with caution	Drop whatever you are doing. Grovelment has declared 2-day holiday during SAARC.


Road Sign Sherlock Holmes
A bit not good	Not really my area	IQ lowered in whole street	British government at work
Don't mess it up this time	Teddy bears have priority in garden area	Low-flying death frisbee	Secret research facility
Let's give smart-arse a wide berth	You'll be fine once you've excreted it	Cold turkey, we agreed	We're not a couple
Yes, you are	Risk of floods of tears	Walk with Sherlock Holmes and see the battlefield
Sherlock, put on pants!

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London Road Signs - An Honest Guide
You are entering one of London's wealthier neighbourhoods	Beware of rent hikes	Basement extensions likely	Time to think about leaving London
How much?	Entering Islington North	Haven't you left yet?	Canary Wharf helipad under construction
Unlicensed minicabs operate in this area	Hipster camera shops ahead	Caution: stag parties	Only no-entry sign in the city that hasn't been defaced
You still here?	Haha-hahaha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-hahahaha- haha-ha-ha. Ha-ha!	New pop-up speakeasy bar	London's last remaining affordable homes
What crazy new skyscraper is this?	Beware of tourists doing hilarious Beatles imperssions	Welcome to Wandsworth	Put your cocking phone away and walk like this you muppet


Yorkshire Road Signs Driving Guide
Beware Yorkshire weather ahead	Butty shop	Ow bloody much?	Flat cap shop
Snicket	Danger ferrets	Dun't get done	Easy pal
Fair t' middlin	What's tha dun ya daft apeth?	Whippits on t' road	T' seaside & slots
Dunt fall off ya wazzock	Old tha orses, tha can't drive down ere	Changeable weather ahead	Chuffin sheep on road
Chip oyl	Danger now leaving Yorkshire	Back we'er the belongs	Loose chippings to knacker up tha car
Southern drivers be careful of ills	Yorkshire tarts	Reight view	Bogs
Big shop	Morris dancers in't road	Way t' sunshine	T' whitby
Up north	Proper Yorkshire ills ahead


Road Sign for Idiots
Drift	Rally	Race	Cars ice skating
Beware of giants	Sign loading	The new working hours at BER airport	Free taxis today
Yellow brick road	iPhone charging point	Heavy umbrellas for sale	Conga line begins here
Please fuck off	Caution time hole	Don't forget your contraception	Parallel universe ahead
They will get you	Hammer time!	A snowflake! All traffic regulations are hereby repealed	The end of the world is near


Road Sign of Dating
Tinder addict	He's jut not that into you	You're jut not that into him	Instagram obsessive
Your mum won't like him	Sugar daddy approaching	Mummy issues	Commitment problems
Doesn't do exclusive	Ex still on the scene	Relationship going nowhere	Full of st*
Mixed signals likely	Alpha male	Happy ending unlikely	Expect text blackouts
Heavy emotional baggage	Danger - giant ego	Draining relationship ahead	Doesn't want kids
Secret posho	One-track mind	Drama ahead	No through road to a relationship
Marriage material


Road Sign of Sex
Just say no	Too fast	Never happened to me before	One way only
Virgin territory	Her 1st time	That was how much a minute?	Anyone for a threesome?
Destory evidence of afair	Beware of voyeurs	69 - your place and mine	Not taking pills
Perfect age	Well served	Outdoor sex	Already spoken for
Slippery when wet	Too much too young	Missed the spot	Almost there!

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