- Humor, Jokes and Funnies about traveling - Humor, Jokes and Funnies about traveling          Recommend Website - Humor, Jokes and Funnies about traveling

Road Sign

Road Sign Emergence    Traffic Story 1    Traffic Story 2    Traffic Story 3    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 1    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 2    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 3    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 4    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 5    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 6    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 7    Road Sign Nepal Slogans    Road Sign Sherlock Holmes    Road Sign London Guide    Road Sign Yorkshire Guide    Road Sign for Idiots    Road Sign of Dating    Road Sign of Sex    Road Sign for Seniors    Road Sign for Startup

Road Sign Emergence

   To top

Traffic Story 1

I was riding
my bicycle

when I saw a
woman lying down.

We fooled around

until she was ready.

People said our
relationship sparked.

We played soccer
on the beach.

Then we took a taxi.

First she opened
one leg,

then the other.

I put it in.

She complimented
me on my size

and weight,

after a lot of
coming and going.

We tried
different styles

and speeds.

When I reached the
point of no return,

she shout STOP!

She said the
wasn't on the pill.

My excitement died.

9 month later
she phoned

from the hospital.

I was a father.

My world collapsed

and I turned upside down.

I now walk.

   To top

Traffic Story 2

One night, I was
walking on the streets.

I met a girl with
big boobs

and my heart rate
went up.

She got me head
over heels.

I took her to see
the night view

and did it in
the car.

I reach for
the condom

and she said,
she had pills.

She splits her
right leg

and she splits both

I got excited,

look for the hole,

went strait in.

She asked me to

I said not too

We changed

We stop for
a while

and starts again.

I finally went soft.

She's satisfide
about my size

and quantity.

She screamed: I
forgot my pill!

I felt so down.

Nine monts later,
from the hospital

she called me.

She had a baby looks
just like me.

I work hard to feed
the family.

I pawn my car and

bikes around.

Wishing I was dead.

   To top

Traffic Story 3

One day, he was walking.

He saw a woman sleeping.

He felt desire
burning inside him,

his adrenaline
started pumping.

He took the plunge.

He invited her to a coffee,

then to the restaurant.

They went on a trip.

They did different activities.

He took her to his house.

She told him,
she was on the pill

and she laid down on the bed.

She spread one leg,

then the other,

then both.

He reaction was immediate.

He penetrated her.

He went in and out,

he discovered that
she wasn't a virgin.

He suggested
some other positions.

She refuses,

bit she asked him to go faster.

She made comments
on his equipment.

When she saw all
the colors of the rainbow,

she shouted STOP!

She hadn't told him the truth:

She wasn't on the pill.

But he lost his self-control

and reached the
point of no return.

She called him 9 month later

from the hospital.

He had 2 children!

His world crumbled,

he want to die.

The morale:

For not making
a woman pregnant,

wear protection.

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 1

Bigfoot Ahead

TV temporarily
out of order

Beware: quick
drying cement

Chance of Survival

Magician at Work

Alien Abduction

Giant Ranger

Avoid oncoming

working ahead

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 2

BSE Infected area

Eye test ahead

Did you take
precautions, last night?

Motorcycle stunt
team overhead

Daddy, can I
have a bicycle?

Oncoming war
stories in centre
of road

Caution: Railway

Wrath of God

Jesus Ahead

Beware of freefall
Mary Poppins
Display Team

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 3

Your car is
on fire

Oh dear

Red cars
keep right

Donald Trump

Flatulence ahead

Umbrella required

Flying motorbikes

Political party

Mid-life crises

Slippery slope

Dad dancing

Lovely lady humps

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 4

Change down a gear -
this is gonna be fun!

Set cruise control to
speed limit +10%

Top gear filming

Elderly driver speed
limit 40mph

Elderly driver speed
limit 30mph

Elderly driver speed
limit 27mph

Beware abandoned

No right turn.
Unless you really
need to turn right


0-60mph testing


Keep your foot in
until the the barrier's
down, Toronto


Parking permitted
with hazard lights

Chicane! Max
speed 70mph

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 5

No vehicles can
survive beyond

Do not open
eyes fully

Keep out of

temperature (number
on sign may vary)

Edge of ice
sheet ahead

Poor visibility

Very poor

You may not be
able to go back

Building on left
may collapse

Building on right
may collapse

Radiation likely,
no stopping

Total surveilance

Travelling hospice

Vehicles liable to

Keep in the shade

Adults ahead

Mutant giants in
this area

Raise protective

Euthanasia point

Euthanasia suspended

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 6

Beware BMW

Beatles Museum

Ken Block filming
in progress

No bommerangs

Michael Bay filming
in progress

Winter is coming

Carpool lane

Beware: Skinny
jeans zone

Place your betsÂ…

Potholes ahead

Conga lines ahead

Check Instagram

30 year old free

Beware dangerous
Ford drivers

Beware man with
heavy umbrella

Thomas the Dank

Drifting zone

Stop! Hammer time

No Peugeots

Beware Stag do's

Road is loading
Please waitÂ…

Moove out of the

Good luck getting
to work on time

Cool stunt ramp

Tinder zone

   To top

Road Sign Alternative Meanings 7

display team

Swings both ways

Low flying aircraft

Give way to
white van man

Shaven haven

Flee the giant

Twitching net
curtains ahead

Dangerous gasses

Fat bloke ahead

Mad cow

Wave goodbye to
your license

Roadside cafe

Danger! Alan

F*ck this!

Dodgy pills

No sad gits

Not sorry at all

No entry. Work
in progress


Get in
middle lane

Last chance to

Exit now

Reverse down
hard shoulder

Choose a

No old gits

Student crossing

Slow moving

Use full beam

50 bonus points

100 bonus points

Ultimate roadkill

Off the road,

Silicon implants


Does my bum
look big in this?

Triple vodka

You are too close
to the guitarist


Red light
district ahead

Same old bull

One leg open

Both legs open

Tunnel ahead

Wear a condom
next time

Loading zone


Totally lost

You're stuck
here forever

   To top

Road Sign Nepal Slogans

On roundabouts,
give way to cattle
approaching from
the right.

Make three orbits around
Bhadrakali to find exit to new
bypass that cuts through
Army HQ to Maiti Ghar.

Caught using mobile while
driving? Pay baksheesh not
exceeding this amount to
officer on duty.

Drive slow,
avoid turnover.

Hard Rock Cafe
100m ahead.

Warning: Garbage
being thrown from
fourth-floor balcony.

Next time take a
plane to Chitwan.

Falling into Tukucha allowed
only betweeen 10:30AM-03:30PM
and on public holidays. Drive
slow, avoid turnover.

In the event of a
water-landing, swim
calmy and call the
Nepal Coast Guard.

Look for outrider
accompanying Prime
Minister Tobgay's
motorcade and race him.

Bank robbery in progress.
Medium-built gentleman and
short female perpetrator running
towards getaway car. Give way.

Cross street here during
Shark's Summit. Cross
anywhere you like
when it's over.

Garbage heap ahead,
turn down window.

Do Not Disturb. We're
still digging.

Generally, we drive on
left. But generals can
drive on either side.

Drive zigzag to
avoid potholes.

Road recently repaved for
SAARC (South Asian Association
for Regional Cooperation).
Drive like a maniac if you like.

No urinating here
on weekdays.

No blowing your
own trumpet, but
you can honk all
you like.

Traffic light is just
a suggestion.

Abandoned bra on
road. Call police.

Scientific Fact: Pillion
riders don't need
helmets because they
are more hard-headed.

Warning: Merging
Communist Parties

Sign at airport
parking lot.

Transfer to submarine
for rest of jouney
to Boudha.

Make three revolutions
at Singha Darbar.

Feral Ass on the loose.
Approach with caution

Drop whatever you are
doing. Grovelment has
declared 2-day holiday
during SAARC.

   To top

Road Sign Sherlock Holmes

A bit
not good

Not really
my area

IQ lowered in
whole street

British government
at work

Don't mess it
up this time

Teddy bears have
priority in garden area

death frisbee

Secret research

Let's give smart-arse
a wide berth

You'll be fine once
you've excreted it

Cold turkey,
we agreed

We're not
a couple

Yes, you are

Risk of floods
of tears

Walk with Sherlock
Holmes and see
the battlefield

put on pants!

   To top

London Road Signs - An Honest Guide

You are entering one
of London's wealthier

Beware of
rent hikes

extensions likely

Time to think
about leaving

How much?


you left

Canary Wharf
helipad under

Unlicensed minicabs
operate in
this area

Hipster camera
shops ahead

Caution: stag

Only no-entry sign
in the city that hasn't
been defaced

You still here?

haha-ha-ha. Ha-ha!

New pop-up
speakeasy bar

London's last
remaining affordable

What crazy
new skyscraper
is this?

Beware of tourists
doing hilarious
Beatles imperssions

Welcome to

Put your cocking
phone away and walk
like this you muppet

   To top

Yorkshire Road Signs Driving Guide

Beware Yorkshire
weather ahead

Butty shop

Ow bloody much?

Flat cap shop


Danger ferrets

Dun't get done

Easy pal

Fair t' middlin

What's tha dun
ya daft apeth?

Whippits on
t' road

T' seaside & slots

Dunt fall off
ya wazzock

Old tha orses, tha
can't drive down ere

weather ahead

Chuffin sheep
on road

Chip oyl

Danger now
leaving Yorkshire

Back we'er
the belongs

Loose chippings to
knacker up tha car

Southern drivers
be careful of ills

Yorkshire tarts

Reight view


Big shop

Morris dancers
in't road

t' sunshine

T' whitby

Up north

Proper Yorkshire
ills ahead

   To top

Road Sign for Idiots




Cars ice skating

Beware of giants

Sign loading

The new working
hours at BER airport

Free taxis today

Yellow brick road

charging point

Heavy umbrellas for sale

Conga line
begins here

Please fuck off

Caution time hole

Don't forget
your contraception

Parallel universe

They will
get you

Hammer time!

A snowflake! All traffic regulations
are hereby repealed

The end of the world
is near

   To top

Road Sign of Dating

Tinder addict

He's jut not
that into you

You're jut not
that into him

Instagram obsessive

Your mum won't
like him

Sugar daddy

Mummy issues


Doesn't do exclusive

Ex still on the scene

Relationship going

Full of s***t

Mixed signals likely

Alpha male

Happy ending unlikely

Expect text blackouts

Heavy emotional

Danger - giant ego

Draining relationship

Doesn't want kids

Secret posho

One-track mind

Drama ahead

No through road to
a relationship

Marriage material

   To top

Road Sign of Sex

Just say no

Too fast

Never happened
to me before

One way only

Virgin territory

Her 1st time

That was how
much a minute?

Anyone for
a threesome?

Destory evidence
of afair

Beware of

69 - your place
and mine

Not taking

Perfect age

Well served

Outdoor sex

Already spoken

Slippery when wet

Too much
too young

Missed the spot

Almost there!

   To top

Road Sign for Seniors

   To top

Road Sign for Startup

   To top - Humor, Scherze und Witze rund ums Reisen

e-domizil Ferienhäuser und Wohnungnen weltweit

DB Bahn Fahrten suchen

   Nach oben

   To top

More traffic stories in on - Humor, Scherze und Witze rund ums Reisen

 - Humor, Jokes and Funnies about traveling

Click here for the best hotel deals -

Motorhomes weltweit       Mietwagen Preisvergleich weltweit

If you happen to know a good joke concerning travel, submit it to us.
It could even be a funny picture. Thanks for your cooperation.

We explicitly point out that we are not responsible for the content of externally linked websites!
-Subject to change!          © Powered by Die Internet Reiseportale