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Road Sign
Stories



Road Sign Emergence    Traffic Story 1    Traffic Story 2    Traffic Story 3    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 1    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 2    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 3    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 4    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 5    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 6    Road Sign Alternative Meanings 7    Road Sign Nepal Slogans    Road Sign Sherlock Holmes    Road Sign London Guide    Road Sign Yorkshire Guide    Road Sign for Idiots    Road Sign of Dating    Road Sign of Sex    Road Sign for Seniors    Road Sign for Startup



Road Sign Emergence












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Traffic Story 1



I was riding
my bicycle



when I saw a
woman lying down.



We fooled around



until she was ready.



People said our
relationship sparked.



We played soccer
on the beach.



Then we took a taxi.



First she opened
one leg,



then the other.



I put it in.



She complimented
me on my size



and weight,



after a lot of
coming and going.



We tried
different styles



and speeds.



When I reached the
point of no return,



she shout STOP!



She said the
wasn't on the pill.



My excitement died.



9 month later
she phoned



from the hospital.



I was a father.



My world collapsed



and I turned upside down.



I now walk.


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Traffic Story 2



One night, I was
walking on the streets.



I met a girl with
big boobs



and my heart rate
went up.



She got me head
over heels.



I took her to see
the night view



and did it in
the car.



I reach for
the condom



and she said,
she had pills.



She splits her
right leg



and she splits both
legs.



I got excited,



look for the hole,



went strait in.



She asked me to
slowdown.



I said not too
loud.



We changed
possion.



We stop for
a while



and starts again.



I finally went soft.



She's satisfide
about my size



and quantity.



She screamed: I
forgot my pill!



I felt so down.



Nine monts later,
from the hospital



she called me.



She had a baby looks
just like me.



I work hard to feed
the family.



I pawn my car and



bikes around.



Wishing I was dead.


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Traffic Story 3



One day, he was walking.



He saw a woman sleeping.



He felt desire
burning inside him,



his adrenaline
started pumping.



He took the plunge.



He invited her to a coffee,



then to the restaurant.



They went on a trip.



They did different activities.



He took her to his house.



She told him,
she was on the pill



and she laid down on the bed.



She spread one leg,



then the other,



then both.



He reaction was immediate.



He penetrated her.



He went in and out,



he discovered that
she wasn't a virgin.



He suggested
some other positions.



She refuses,



bit she asked him to go faster.



She made comments
on his equipment.



When she saw all
the colors of the rainbow,



she shouted STOP!



She hadn't told him the truth:



She wasn't on the pill.



But he lost his self-control



and reached the
point of no return.



She called him 9 month later



from the hospital.



He had 2 children!



His world crumbled,



he want to die.



The morale:



For not making
a woman pregnant,



wear protection.


   To top




Road Sign Alternative Meanings 1



Bigfoot Ahead



TV temporarily
out of order



Beware: quick
drying cement



Chance of Survival



Magician at Work



Alien Abduction



Danger!
Giant Ranger



Avoid oncoming
gunfire



Lumberjacks
working ahead


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Road Sign Alternative Meanings 2



BSE Infected area




Eye test ahead




Did you take
precautions, last night?



Motorcycle stunt
team overhead



Daddy, can I
have a bicycle?



Oncoming war
stories in centre
of road



Caution: Railway
infrastructure
under-funded



Caution:
Wrath of God



Jesus Ahead




Beware of freefall
Mary Poppins
Display Team


   To top




Road Sign Alternative Meanings 3



Your car is
on fire



Oh dear



Red cars
keep right



Donald Trump



Flatulence ahead



Umbrella required



Flying motorbikes



Political party
manifesto



Mid-life crises



Slippery slope



Dad dancing



Lovely lady humps


   To top




Road Sign Alternative Meanings 4



Change down a gear -
this is gonna be fun!



Set cruise control to
speed limit +10%



Top gear filming
ahead



Elderly driver speed
limit 40mph



Elderly driver speed
limit 30mph



Elderly driver speed
limit 27mph



Beware abandoned
stancers



No right turn.
Unless you really
need to turn right



Carmageddon




0-60mph testing
zone



Doriftoooooo!




Keep your foot in
until the the barrier's
down, Toronto



NOS




Parking permitted
with hazard lights



Chicane! Max
speed 70mph


   To top




Road Sign Alternative Meanings 5



No vehicles can
survive beyond
here



Do not open
eyes fully



Keep out of
sunlight



Ambient
temperature (number
on sign may vary)



Edge of ice
sheet ahead



Poor visibility




Very poor
visibility



You may not be
able to go back



Building on left
may collapse



Building on right
may collapse



Radiation likely,
no stopping



Total surveilance
area



Travelling hospice
bus



Vehicles liable to
explode



Keep in the shade




Adults ahead




Mutant giants in
this area



Raise protective
unbrella



Euthanasia point




Euthanasia suspended



   To top




Road Sign Alternative Meanings 6



Beware BMW
drivers



Beatles Museum
ahead



Ken Block filming
in progress



No bommerangs
allowed



Michael Bay filming
in progress



Winter is coming



Carpool lane



Beware: Skinny
jeans zone



Place your betsÂ…



Potholes ahead



Conga lines ahead



Check Instagram



30 year old free
zone



Beware dangerous
Ford drivers



Beware man with
heavy umbrella



Thomas the Dank
Engine



Drifting zone



Stop! Hammer time



No Peugeots



Beware Stag do's
ahead



Road is loading
Please waitÂ…



Moove out of the
way



Good luck getting
to work on time



Cool stunt ramp
ahead



Tinder zone


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Road Sign Alternative Meanings 7



Motorcycle
display team



Swings both ways



Low flying aircraft



Give way to
white van man



Shaven haven



Flee the giant
octopus



Twitching net
curtains ahead



Dangerous gasses



Fat bloke ahead



Mad cow



Wave goodbye to
your license



Roadside cafe



Danger! Alan
Tichmarsh



F*ck this!



Dodgy pills



No sad gits



Not sorry at all



No entry. Work
in progress



Wrong
neighbourhood



Get in
middle lane



Last chance to
overtake



Exit now



Reverse down
hard shoulder



Choose a
direction



No old gits



Student crossing



Slow moving
target



Use full beam
headlights



50 bonus points



100 bonus points



Ultimate roadkill



Off the road,
grandad!



Silicon implants



Motorvational



Does my bum
look big in this?



Triple vodka
please



You are too close
to the guitarist



Asteroids



Red light
district ahead



Same old bull



One leg open



Both legs open



Tunnel ahead



Wear a condom
next time



Loading zone



Genetic
meddling



Totally lost



You're stuck
here forever


   To top




Road Sign Nepal Slogans



On roundabouts,
give way to cattle
approaching from
the right.



Make three orbits around
Bhadrakali to find exit to new
bypass that cuts through
Army HQ to Maiti Ghar.



Caught using mobile while
driving? Pay baksheesh not
exceeding this amount to
officer on duty.



Drive slow,
avoid turnover.




Hard Rock Cafe
100m ahead.




Warning: Garbage
being thrown from
fourth-floor balcony.



Next time take a
plane to Chitwan.




Falling into Tukucha allowed
only betweeen 10:30AM-03:30PM
and on public holidays. Drive
slow, avoid turnover.



In the event of a
water-landing, swim
calmy and call the
Nepal Coast Guard.



Look for outrider
accompanying Prime
Minister Tobgay's
motorcade and race him.



Bank robbery in progress.
Medium-built gentleman and
short female perpetrator running
towards getaway car. Give way.



Cross street here during
Shark's Summit. Cross
anywhere you like
when it's over.



Garbage heap ahead,
turn down window.




Do Not Disturb. We're
still digging.




Generally, we drive on
left. But generals can
drive on either side.



Drive zigzag to
avoid potholes.




Road recently repaved for
SAARC (South Asian Association
for Regional Cooperation).
Drive like a maniac if you like.



No urinating here
8AM-4PM
on weekdays.



No blowing your
own trumpet, but
you can honk all
you like.



Traffic light is just
a suggestion.
Ignore.



Abandoned bra on
road. Call police.




Scientific Fact: Pillion
riders don't need
helmets because they
are more hard-headed.



Warning: Merging
Communist Parties
ahead.



Sign at airport
parking lot.




Transfer to submarine
for rest of jouney
to Boudha.



Make three revolutions
at Singha Darbar.




Feral Ass on the loose.
Approach with caution




Drop whatever you are
doing. Grovelment has
declared 2-day holiday
during SAARC.


   To top




Road Sign Sherlock Holmes



A bit
not good



Not really
my area



IQ lowered in
whole street



British government
at work



Don't mess it
up this time



Teddy bears have
priority in garden area



Low-flying
death frisbee



Secret research
facility



Let's give smart-arse
a wide berth



You'll be fine once
you've excreted it



Cold turkey,
we agreed



We're not
a couple



Yes, you are




Risk of floods
of tears



Walk with Sherlock
Holmes and see
the battlefield








Sherlock,
put on pants!







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London Road Signs - An Honest Guide



You are entering one
of London's wealthier
neighbourhoods



Beware of
rent hikes



Basement
extensions likely



Time to think
about leaving
London



How much?




Entering
Islington
North



Haven't
you left
yet?



Canary Wharf
helipad under
construction



Unlicensed minicabs
operate in
this area



Hipster camera
shops ahead



Caution: stag
parties



Only no-entry sign
in the city that hasn't
been defaced



You still here?




Haha-hahaha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha-hahahaha-
haha-ha-ha. Ha-ha!



New pop-up
speakeasy bar



London's last
remaining affordable
homes



What crazy
new skyscraper
is this?



Beware of tourists
doing hilarious
Beatles imperssions



Welcome to
Wandsworth



Put your cocking
phone away and walk
like this you muppet


   To top




Yorkshire Road Signs Driving Guide



Beware Yorkshire
weather ahead



Butty shop




Ow bloody much?




Flat cap shop




Snicket




Danger ferrets




Dun't get done




Easy pal




Fair t' middlin




What's tha dun
ya daft apeth?



Whippits on
t' road



T' seaside & slots




Dunt fall off
ya wazzock



Old tha orses, tha
can't drive down ere



Changeable
weather ahead



Chuffin sheep
on road



Chip oyl




Danger now
leaving Yorkshire



Back we'er
the belongs



Loose chippings to
knacker up tha car



Southern drivers
be careful of ills



Yorkshire tarts




Reight view




Bogs




Big shop




Morris dancers
in't road



Way
t' sunshine



T' whitby




Up north




Proper Yorkshire
ills ahead


   To top




Road Sign for Idiots



Drift



Rally



Race



Cars ice skating



Beware of giants



Sign loading



The new working
hours at BER airport



Free taxis today



Yellow brick road



iPhone
charging point



Heavy umbrellas for sale



Conga line
begins here



Please fuck off



Caution time hole



Don't forget
your contraception



Parallel universe
ahead



They will
get you



Hammer time!



A snowflake! All traffic regulations
are hereby repealed



The end of the world
is near


   To top




Road Sign of Dating



Tinder addict



He's jut not
that into you



You're jut not
that into him



Instagram obsessive



Your mum won't
like him



Sugar daddy
approaching



Mummy issues



Commitment
problems



Doesn't do exclusive



Ex still on the scene



Relationship going
nowhere



Full of s***t



Mixed signals likely



Alpha male



Happy ending unlikely



Expect text blackouts



Heavy emotional
baggage



Danger - giant ego



Draining relationship
ahead



Doesn't want kids



Secret posho



One-track mind



Drama ahead



No through road to
a relationship



Marriage material


   To top




Road Sign of Sex



Just say no



Too fast



Never happened
to me before



One way only



Virgin territory



Her 1st time



That was how
much a minute?



Anyone for
a threesome?



Destory evidence
of afair



Beware of
voyeurs



69 - your place
and mine



Not taking
pills



Perfect age



Well served



Outdoor sex



Already spoken
for



Slippery when wet



Too much
too young



Missed the spot



Almost there!


   To top




Road Sign for Seniors


   To top




Road Sign for Startup


   To top







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