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Funny Things
to do on a Bus

  • Sell used bus tickets. Claim they are for half the price.
  • Get on the bus, grinning widely. As soon as the bus begins to move, burst into song. When you arrive at the next stop, stop singing. Step off the bus backwards, still grinning widely.
  • If you are seated between two passengers, yawn loudly, strech, and put your arms around them.
  • Greet passengers with a big hug, handshake, smile and say "Hi, call me Norman".
  • Put a leash on a friend and walk him/her onto the bus. Insist he/she is a dog and should go for half fare.
  • When arriving at your stop, do not push the button to open the doors. Instead try to open them manually. When this does not work, yell, scream, pound on them, and stamp your feet. If someone attempts to help you, slap them.
  • Stand in the aisle and loudly have a pretend phone conversation with yourself.
  • Bring a sleeping bag and sleep on the bus.
  • Sit in alone in a two seater. If someone attempts to sit next to you, insist that your invisible friend, Burt, is sitting there.
  • When the bus driver announces a stop, repeat the stop name over and over. When the driver announces the next stop, repeat this one instead.
  • Dangle from the hanging rings by your feet. Giggle maniaclly as you sway to and fro.
  • Strip
  • Start a cheer for the bus driver.
  • Take a long time to buy a bus ticket, while a friend holds the doors. When you get on, eat the ticket.
  • Stomp down the aisle loudly. When you reach the end of the bus, turn around on one foot, and stomp back. If you bump into someone, shove them.
  • Bring a notepad. Sit in the seat right behind the bus driver. Write suggestive notes to the driver.
  • At each stop, get off the bus. Have a friend hold the doors for you while you buy a magazine. Get back on. Buy the same magazine each time. Pile them one of the seats.
  • When there are a lot of empty seats, sit on the floor.
  • If there are no empty seats left, say to a complete stranger "Thats ok, I'll just sit on your lap", and do so.
  • Bring a towel and sunscreen. Sunbathe in the bus. If anyone tries to make you move, insist he is blocking your rays.
  • Place chewed gum in all the door open buttons.
  • Have a friend take pictures of you hugging or with your arms around random passangers.
  • Insist that you frisk everyone before they can get on. If someone ressists, karate chop them.
  • Lie on the floor of the bus. When you reach your stop, roll off.
  • Leave a penny on your seat. Get off the bus. When it leaves, chase it to the next stop. Retrieve your coin and sigh with relief.
  • Make motercycle noises when the bus is moving. When it slows down, slow down, when it speeds up, speed up, when it stops, stop, and when it starts again, start again.
  • When you get on the bus, rap loudly "My name is ..., check, I live in ..., check, I'm on the scene, check."
  • Wear your socks on your ears. Ask everyone if they've seen them. If someone tries to tell you, accuse him/her of stealing them.
  • Get on the bus. Laugh hysterically until you get off.
  • Sit in the front of the first pair of doors in the bus. When the bus stops, get off and run to the pair of doors in the middle. Get back on. At the next stop, get off at these doors and run back to the first. Repeat at every stop.
  • Sit in the doorway and read a book. When the doors close on you, scream until they open again, then go back to reading.
  • Have a picnic on the floor. Include stuffed animals. Talk to them.
  • Run up to a stranger and act as though you know them. See if they go along with it.
  • Get on the bus. Take off your shoes and put them each on a different seat. Do the same thing with your socks. Get off crying "I'm free! I'm free!"
  • Draw a face on your pinkey finger. Talk to the other passengers through it.
  • Start a sing-a-long.
  • Decorate the bus for the nearest holiday. If someone questions your actions, explain that you are just "getting into the holiday spirit."
  • Wear a swim suit, goggels, and flippers. Wherever you walk, make swimming movements.
  • Play Twister. Try to get others to join.
  • Bake cupcakes and bring them onto the bus. Hand them out to the passengers, claiming that its your birthday and you wanted to celebrate.
  • Bring pillows. Start a pillow fight.
  • Two words: Silly string.
  • If you are sitting next to someone, pretend to fall asleep. Lay your head on his/her shoulder and snore. If he/she shoves you off, pretend to wake up and say "sorry, must've dozed off" repeat every five minutes.
  • Sing everything you say.
  • Greet passangers getting on the bus with "Welcome abord flight 231," and give them a bag of honey roasted peanuts.
  • Bring a fishing rod. Try to snag other passengers possessions with it.
  • Crawl around the bus on your hands and knees as if looking for something. Look in silly places such as under passengers shoes or beneath newspapers. If someone asks what you are looking for, answer "My taranchuala. He couldn't have gotten far."
  • Wear a chicken costume. Try to talk to the other passengers by clucking. When they don't understand, become frusturated and cluck even faster while making agitated movements.
  • Try to press the door open button with your tounge.
  • Wear a chinese new years dragon costume with a friend and continuously do the congo.
  • Make sure your shoe laces are tied and then trip over nothing. Laugh and say "How silly of me" tie your shoe laces together and hobble off the tram.
  • Bring skis. Wear them.
  • Put a lego person in your pants. Ask passengers if they want to meet the little guy who lives in your pants. Then unzip your fly, pull him out, and introduce him.
  • Ask for passengers names and make seating charts. Change them as passengers come and go.
  • Paint your toenails.
  • Pretend to read a book upsideown. Comment often on how good it is.
  • Bring a flashlight and use it as though you can't see without it. - Humor, Scherze und Witze rund ums Reisen

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